I’m not scared of commitment, I’m just independent!

I’m not scared of commitment, I’m just independent!

blind-dateHear myself saying this line when I finally on the stage of being single. Commitment means I have to make a choice. What scares me the most is that I might make the wrong choice and get hurt in the process!

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I’ve watched many of my friends commit themselves to a relationship only to struggle through betrayal and rejection later.That was my personal experience too for the last 7 years of my life. In the future, I would love to be in a committed dating relationship, but until I met a man that I’m willing to risk my heart for, I will remain single.

When I love someone, I can no longer just think about myself. I need to be willing to put time and energy into our relationship and always live with the possibly that the person I love could destroy my trust.

Being committed demands remaining faithful to someone or something even when times get rough. Whether the person I love treats me poorly or I don’t see the results of my project. Commitment means I need to stick to it because I love and believe in it.

So what’s the issue?

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When I think about my commitment fears, it boils down to one issue: truly loving and being loved by others because that means that I’m opening myself up to the possibly of being hurt.

11 Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid Of Being Single, I’m Afraid Of Dating

Source: ELITE DAILY

We always say we humans are innately fearful of loneliness.

We stay in bad relationships, relationships that bore us to tears, abusive relationships and unfulfilling relationships because we’re so petrified of the alternative: being single.

It’s the idea of not having someone that makes us settle. It’s the prospect of dying alone that keeps us tethered to something subpar.

The thing is I’m not afraid of being single; I’m afraid of dating.

The thing that makes breaking up so daunting is it must inevitably lead to going on dates, putting yourself out there and being vulnerable again.

Once you know what it’s like to get hurt, the last thing you want to do is put yourself in that situation again.

For me, I’d rather just be finished with the whole thing. I’d rather not have a relationship at all.

I’d rather not seek out a potential partner when I know there is the potential for getting my heart broken.

I’m sick of swiping right and wasting my precious time on people who bring no value to my life.

I’m tired of biting my nails before first dates and wondering if I’ll get a text back. I’m over trying to put myself out there when all I ever get in return are bruises and emotional scars.

It may sound bitter, but really, isn’t it just logical not to want to deal? I know I’ll always be in love with myself, so can’t that just be enough to satiate me?

It’s not the being on my own that’s so scary; it’s the process of finding someone who doesn’t seem worth it.

1. I’m not afraid of sleeping alone; I’m afraid of sleeping with the wrong person.

I don’t feel like I’m missing out because I go to bed by myself. It isn’t the prospect of having no one to share my bed with that makes me nervous.

What I’m scared of is getting intimate with someone, and then coming to regret it afterwards.

It’s giving the power to someone who may not deserve it that is so unappealing.


2. I’m not afraid of eating alone; I’m afraid of wasting a meal with bad conversation.

I’m delightful company, and I would rather hold court with Ernest Hemingway than a Tinder date.

A random guy may spit a lot of game over text and yet be completely mundane over a dinner table.

If I have my notebook and a novel, I know my night will never be wasted.


3. I’m not afraid of not getting laid; I’m afraid of bad sex.

And I’m afraid of getting herpes, for that matter. I have plenty of orgasmic help in the robotics department; I don’t need a guy to satisfy my needs.

I don’t mind being celibate if it alleviates me of the possibility of an unremarkable (or even remarkably terrible) sexual experience.


4. I’m not afraid of having my bed to myself; I’m afraid of waking up to a stranger.

I’d rather keep the sacred space that is my bed untainted.

I’d rather spread out than spread my legs for someone who means nothing to me.

I don’t have the energy or time to find someone who’s willing to spend the night with me, and I certainly don’t have the patience for the awkward goodbyes come morning.


5. I’m not afraid of not getting a text; I’m afraid of staring at my phone, waiting for one.

When you don’t have dating on your mind, not getting a text means nothing to you.

When you just went out on a great date and are playing the whole coy, cat and mouse game, you spend countless hours starting at your phone, praying for a response.

It’s the pit in the bottom of my stomach that I have no interest in pursuing.


6. I’m not afraid of wasting my paycheck; I’m afraid of wasting my time.

It’s not the whole riff raff about wasting money on a bad date that irks me; it’s my precious time that could be wasted.

My time is the most valuable thing I possess, and its supplies are limited.

I would rather spend it with people of substance than potentially drain it.


7. I’m not afraid of being myself; I’m afraid of being with someone who makes me feel like I can’t be myself.

I don’t have it in me to be anything other than completely myself. I’m sarcastic, ridiculous and straightforward to the point where it is offputting.

I can’t be with someone who isn’t okay with taking me exactly as I am.

I’m more afraid of trying to find someone who gets to decide if he or she wants to.

I’m not afraid of not getting someone; I’m afraid of someone not getting me.


8. I’m not afraid of being without a plus one; I’m afraid the next one might not be the one.

I’d prefer to go to parties and weddings alone rather than be questioned by every person I know, every time the man on my arm is someone new.

Will he stick? Is he the one? Is this finally it? I really don’t know, and I’d rather not discuss it or give my mother any more false hope.


9. I’m not afraid of losing my friendships; I’m afraid of compromising them for the wrong person.

I’m not the kind of woman who would ever abandon her friends for a man. After all, they’re the ones who will need to pick up the pieces should things fall apart.

Yet I don’t want to play compromise with my girlfriends for a guy who won’t last the time it takes to brunch.

I want to share my time only with someone who can be my best friend as well as my lover.


10. I’m not afraid of being cold; I’m afraid of being vulnerable.

I’d rather be an ice queen than be susceptible to heartbreak. Anyone who has ever felt the pain of being brutally dumped will have no choice but to agree.

I know we all say we need to get back out in the game and never give up on love, but doesn’t that just seem like masochism?


11. I’m not afraid of being alone; I’m afraid of being with someone who makes me feel alone.

Perhaps the most terrible thing that can come from dating is to end up in a relationship that makes you feel lonelier than you felt when you were single.

The greatest tragedy of all is to wind up paired off with someone who is anything but right for you.

I would rather live the rest of my life with only myself for companionship than end up in a relationship that makes me feel empty.

It’s not being single that is the sole proprietor of unhappiness.

It’s playing the game, getting knocked down, choosing wrong out of desperation and ending up with a life that is incomplete.

A Fatherless Father’s Day

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This Father’s Day, I’ll be spending the day at my Papa’s gravesite.

It’s been 6 mos and the tears tend to come less frequently now, but his absence is still felt on a regular basis. I will always feel his loss.

I will remember the man who taught me to stand on my own two feet and be independent and to become this strong. His smile will remain on my face always as they say I smile like him.


Missing their Papa Jorge! The grandchildren visited Papa today.

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The Tali Beach style of lunch for the a Father’s Day Lunchout with the familia.
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Though Sunday is an empty Father’s Day for me, it holds a legacy full of love, laughter, and a rare strength forged through pain. My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person.. He believes in me! I am my father’s daughter — forever.
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Happy Father’s Day Papa. I salute you! Thank you Pa for everything. I know that you are so proud of me now. I love you always and in all ways.CHEERS!

Prep Level : First Day

I woke up today preppin up all your things. You eat your breakfast, you brushed your teeth, dressed yourself, put your backpack on, and said, “I’m so excited Mommy.” And then you squeezed me really tight with one of your monster hugs. I hope you never stop hugging me like that. My heart is was so full of joy as I watched how excited you are upon entering your new room  and to meet your new teacher and new set of classmates.

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Now that you are starting school again , embarking on this new level and exciting adventure, I find myself thinking about the hopes and dreams I have for you.

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You are such a sweet lovable caring stubborn helpful independent joyful human being. I hope you always keep your love of learning and exploring. The possibilities are endless.

Dream big my little man. Always set goals and work your hardest to achieve them. I will always gonna believe in you. I am your biggest fan.

Enjoy your first day in school!

I love you my little hugglemonster. I am so proud of you.

We’re Protecting Ourselves: The Honest Reasons Why Girls Ice Guys Out

Source: ELITE DAILY


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When a girl starts to really like a guy, there is so much that goes through her head.

She’s finally letting those walls down she’s worked so hard to build up.

It’s really terrifying letting someone in when you’re so used to looking after number one and feeding your cynicism.

We ladies are very skeptical, always waiting for something to go wrong. The second something doesn’t go exactly the way we want it to, we shut down.

We don’t want to get our hearts broken, so it’s a lot easier to just pretend we don’t have one.

We’re all pretending to be heartless having a heart is equated with weakness. We don’t want to be weak.

We have feelings, but we can’t let you know that, OK?

When you aren’t calling us enough, thinking about us enough or doing enough to make us feel completely comfortable, we bug out.

There’s only so long we can put up the cool, calculated façade. We’re scared if we stay with a guy for too long, he’s going to see us for who we really are, and then he won’t like us anymore.

So, once we feel like you’re pulling away, even if you’re not, we will ice you out.

Icing out is similar to ghosting in that we disappear. We fall off the face of the earth.

We care too much, so we pretend like we don’t care at all.

Only, instead of completely shutting a guy out, we’re actually just playing the cool girl to try to keep you engaged.

For example, when you don’t contact us for four days and then reach out with a flaccid Facebook message, we’ll click it so you can see we’ve “read” it, but we won’t respond.

See? We don’t care!

It’s so passive aggressive.

In reality, we were sitting around, going over every single detail of our last encounter, wondering what we did to cause you not to call.

We’ve been sending screenshots to our girlfriends and wondering what the next move should be.

You clearly aren’t into us, so now we can’t be into you, either.

It’s a bit of a power play, really. We don’t want to lose control by investing too much and being too open with our feelings.

When we think you’re losing interest, we’ll take away all interest to pull you back in.

It’s sick, and it’s twisted, but it’s true. You may not even be aware you’re hurting us, but that won’t resonate.

We’ll just ice you out, internally sh*t a brick and casually open things up again when you come crawling back.

If we said we needed more attention, you would think we were crazy.

When we don’t hear from you, we just assume you don’t like us anymore.

The thing is, if we asked you to give us more attention, we would just be reaffirming the generalizations that society already has about women.

If we said what we wanted, you would call us a clinger.

We don’t want to be labeled “crazy.” We want you to give us more face time, to call us more and assure us we’re special.

All that sounds like it’s asking a guy too much. So, we wallow in silence.


We’re afraid to show our feelings, and we’re afraid of showing ourselves our feelings.

When we start to feel things, it’s really scary. We don’t want to believe we actually are these emotional people who can get swept up by a cute boy.

We don’t want to show you our true feelings because it feels like we’re exposing ourselves. If we’re exposed, we’re open to getting hurt.


We’re protecting ourselves.

We shut you out as a defense mechanism. If we don’t care, we can’t be susceptible to pain. We’ve spent our whole lives taking care of ourselves.

We don’t want to let you in only to regret it. Icing you out is a weapon we utilize.


We’re trying to gauge how much you care.

We don’t want you to know we like you more than you like us. By icing you out, we can see how far you’re willing to go for us.

If icing you out isn’t enough for you to come through, then we get the answer we needed right away.

We expect you to let us down, so we’d rather know sooner than later.

If you come back and try to win us over, we’ll give you a second chance because you’ve proved you care enough.

We need the affirmation, and this is the only way we know how to get it.


We don’t know how to communicate.

We just don’t have the right words to express how we feel. We ice you out because we can’t even figure out what to say.

How do we tell you we really like you without scaring you? How do we say you’re always on our minds without coming off as a psycho?

We push you away so we don’t have to audibly deal with the complicated emotions that are devouring us from the inside out.


We want to be chased, but we don’t want to be chased.

We all assert our independence until we hate our freedom. We don’t want to be smothered, and yet we want to be pursued. There is a fine line when it comes to the chase.

We’re still trying to figure out just what we want. We don’t want you to be up our asses, but we don’t want you to stop caring altogether.

Can’t everything just be easily explained without fear?


We want you to miss us.

If we disappear for a little while, you’re forced to miss us.

We want you to realize what you have and appreciate it. If everything were too easy for you, it wouldn’t be exciting.

When we ice you out, it forces you to reassess our relationship.

Since absence makes the heart grow fonder, we’re going to make sure you know what it’s like when we’re absent.


It’s easier to be cold than to feel.

It’s definitely a lot easier to be an “Ice Queen” than it is to be hot with feelings.

We’d rather push you away than admit our hearts are in it. Being cold provides us with a buffer. It gives us a wall to hide behind.

If we feel too much, we could end up burned. We don’t want to give any guy that kind of power.


We expected this to fail from the beginning.

We went into this just waiting for it to end. Why prolong things? We self-sabotage just to get the ugly stuff over with.

We’re cynical and jaded. This couldn’t possibly work out, so why get emotionally invested in it?

Just smash it to pieces and walk away before anyone gets hurt.


We’re insecure.

We ice you out because we don’t know what else to do.

We aren’t sure of this relationship, and we aren’t sure about how you feel about us. You haven’t given us anything solid to work with.

We’re emotional, and when we start to feel crazy, we want to make it go away.

We can’t think about anything else, and so we push it under the rug, hoping it will just resolve itself.

We’re hoping you’ll come after us and give us what we need but would never ask you for.

My 2nd Year Workanniversary

Today marks my 2nd year anniversary, and my love affair with my job is getting stronger every year. A very fast two years had passed since I accepted the position. I always eat words on a daily basis.

One thing I love about it, you never outgrow, you are always learning.

I still got the 2 things on my lips now, like I was having last year… Silence and smile. I am looking for many more year in this business.

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I know a lot of people who like to write. They blog, email, chat maybe even journal. And that’s good.

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It’s important to have communication skills. It’s great to be able to write and express your thoughts, especially in an age in which there is unrestricted access to other people.

But if you want to be a writer, that’s not enough.

There must be passion. Of course, many people do this every day, but if you’re to be a writer — a bard, an artist, a storyteller whose life’s work is dedicated to the written word — you need to love writing.

If you’re going to be a writer, you have to love it …

This is a non-negotiable. If not, you’ll burn out. I hear some writers say they don’t love writing, but they love having written.

I don’t buy that. Life’s too short to spend your time doing things you don’t love. You need to enjoy the act of writing, at least a little, while you do it. I don’t think any amount of discipline can overcome lack of passion.

Sure, there will be days when you don’t feel like doing it. But that doesn’t negate the passion that began the pursuit. And as you sit down, maybe even forcing yourself to write, you will fall in love all over again.

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Don’t get serious about writing unless you love it.

“.MY LIFE BE LIKE. “

My First Mother’s Day as a Single Mom

Mother’s Day is about celebrating you ~ the mother. The intent of the celebration hold no caveats whether you are a single mom, or a married mom or even a mom in midst of divorce. Marital status has nothing to do with it. You are allowed to be celebrated and be thanked for all of your children. No guilt. This is your day!

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I’m a single mom by choice. One parent can be better than two. Being a single mom to my 6 year old son is not for the feint of heart. You have a lot on your plate and on your shoulders. So treat yourself with kindness. Give yourself some credit and realize you aren’t doing half-bad. Treating yourself kindly is a way to be a good role model for your children~seeing you be okay with falling short once in a while is a great way from them to learn they can make mistakes, too.

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I am so so so grateful. So blessed. So happy. So complete. So rich. So loved. I mean…how does it ever get any better than this? I am a one proud single mom here !!!

Happy Mother’s Day to me!

What matters most is that WE ROCK.

No matter what kind of garbage is tossed our way, if we expect respect from the world, we have to give it to ourselves first.

At the end of the day, you will still be mom, and still be responsible for all that being a mom entails.This is true of one day we celebrate Mother’s Day this year, and every other one of the 365 days in this year.

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To the strongest woman that always brought the best in me or at least saw the best in me regardless of what I did. Happy Mother’s Day Mama… I love you.

Celebrate this day! We all deserve it !

I wish you all the moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day this day, and every other day.

Keep rocking! 

21 New Ways to Wear A Summer Scarf

By: 

Bored with all your old tanks and tees? Hankerin’ for a shiny new collection of summer dresses? Well, before you replace your warm weather wardrobe, try refreshing your existing pieces with this one simple trick: summer scarves. Just one craftily tied scarf can make a simple outfit look and feel brand new! And if you’re smart about adding a few choice neckerchiefs, pashminas, and other prettily printed fabric squares, you’ll lengthen the life of your wardrobe without taking a huge chunk out of your wallet.

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Plus, they’re fun! Mix up your morning routine and flex your sartorial creativity by finding new, unique ways to wear your scarves, from the tried-and-true neckerchief to headbands, belts, and even bracelets. Scarves have the added bonus of saving you from a bad hair day. If you don’t have time to style (or even wash) your tresses, just turn one of your large, square scarves into a cover-all headwrap.

Argument for scarves:
  • They’re an affordable way to refresh your wardrobe.
  • They’re the kryptonite to bad hair days.
  • Their accessorizing potential is boundless.
  • And, quite simply, they’re cute and fun.
Argument against scarves:
  • [crickets]

Well, there you have it. A completely objective, scientific examination of the facts. Scarves are good for you.

To begin your summer scarf journey, be on the lookout for vintage scarves at your local thrift shops and vintage markets. Finding cheap, high-quality vintage scarves is ridiculously easy. I also recommend hunting for new handmade ones—there are gobs of hand-painted silk, hand-dyed cotton and artist-illustrated screenprinted scarves on Etsy that are positively drool-worthy. Once you’ve built up a happy collection, test out some of the following scarf tying techniques!

Just remember the golden rule of scarves: There’s no wrong way to wear one.

1. The Axl Rose

Channel your inner rock god by folding a bandana into a wide band and wrapping over long locks.

2. The Tiny Cape

Hand-painted silk scarf available for purchase from Armenia on Silk.

Flex your fashion superpowers with a silk scarf draped gently over your shoulders. Bonus points for Miranda July curls.

3. The Neckerchief

Image: Barbro Andersen

For when your neck is a little chilly but you still wanna look like a boss.

4. The 9 to 5

Gingham scarf available for purchase from I Love Mona. 

Make Jane Fonda proud with a long thin scarf tied in a bow under your best collared working shirt. (’80s bonus points if that shirt has Peter Pan collar.)

5. The Boy Scout

Image: emma

Any floral bandana looks great dressed down with a casual tee and shorts.

6. The Yacht Knot

Image: Jenny DU

Give your long, pashmina-style scarf a fresh summer look with a low front knot and a loose, breezy dress.

7. The Hat Bandit

Image: Jessica Quirk

Get creative by turning your scarf into a hat band and adding various pins for extra snazz. 

8. The Oscar Wilde

Blue cotton scarf available for purchase from EveLine Trends.

Go big or go home.

I think that’s an Oscar Wilde quote or something. …

9. The Waist Cincher

Image: Jessica Quirk

The scarf-as-belt trick is not for amateurs. Don’t try this at home unless you’re prepared to dish out some serious sass.

10. The Frenchie

Vintage scarf bow ring available for purchase from True Value Vintage. 

If you’ve got a dainty little vintage scarf that’s too small to tie, gather it with a brooch or ring.

11. The Neck Bustle

Image: Jessica Quirk

Wrap and wrangle however you see fit! The bigger and messier, the better.

12. The Psychedelic Esmerelda

60s flower scarf available for purchase from Vintage Griffin.

Go full-on retro hippie chic with a bandana head-wrap in a bright floral print.

13. The Grey Gardens

Image: Jessica Quirk

Go on. Wear that scarf like no one is watching.

14. The Twisty Turban

Twisted turban headband available for purchase from Rumraisin.

For this trendy look, you can fashion a regular scarf into a twisted turban or purchase an easy-to-wear headband.

15. The Faux Pony

Image: Maegan Tintari

Take your bun or pony-tail to the next level by wrapping a thin scarf around it and letting the tails flow free.

16. The Rosie

Image: Garry Knight

Never let a bad hair day get you down again. Rosie the Riveter knew what she was doing.

17. The Cold Shoulder

Mushroom scarf available for purchase from Silk Scarves Dream Luxe. 

A one-shoulder mushroom-print scarf says to the world, “I do what I want.”

18. The Faux Robe

Add flair to a simple outfit by draping a large, fringed scarf over your shoulders. This appears to be a requirement for attending outdoor summer festivals.

19. The Sneaky Snake Belt

Image: Maegan Tintari

Here’s a scarf-belt option for the laid-back fashionista.

20. The Faux Mermaid

Whether your hair is short or long, you can still feel like a gloriously-maned mermaid with some imagination and headscarf trickery.

21. The Double Top Knot

Neon headscarf available for purchase from Raydiant Apparel. 

When one knot just isn’t enough.

On my personal note, I enjoy most listed ways above… All that matters is where you are feeling comfortable using and wearing it. Don’t forget to be creative and wear that big smile always on your face to add it on. Share below the ways you like… I am happy to hear some…